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Lola is still in the city

May 4, 2009
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Two posts in one day!!!

After my geekery, I wanted to update you guys on the chic status on request from Another Time, Another Place commenting on my Lola in the City post from last year.

The status is this….Lola is still in the city! No surprises there then! So things have moved on since that post, I have done a lot more dating, but only thanks to the power of the friend introduction. It’s not a foolproof strategy, but as I always say half the issue with today’s dating scene is the inability to actually meet enough people on a regular basis to say you are actively on the scene.

Since last August, I’ve been introduced to 3 guys by friends. I have no announcements to make (!), but it’s a testament to the fact that I have not met any other guys any other way. I’ve not been chatted up, I’ve not had an incidental meeting at a train station or while travelling….nothing nada! Were it not for my girls I it would have been a pretty miserable period of time!

Take a case in point. On Friday I went to a Brazilian bar in London with an old workmate. We hadn’t caught up in a while and fancied eating, drinking and dancing the night away. Usually the bar has a live band and everyone gets up and pretends they can do the samba (I managed to improve my pretending technique when I was in Brazil last year!). While we were eating, we spotted two guys. Nicely dressed, probably came from work as we did, both very cute, possibly a bit younger than us but good for a gentle evening flirt and they ‘hung’ around our table for a while.

So we did the obvious we’re not looking thing whilst getting an eyeful, they walked by unnecessarily about 10 times. Then we wandered over to the other side of the bar when we’d finished eating, they continued to wonder on past us unnecessarily and finally, one of the guys (the one I had my eye on), came by, stopped, looked at his phone and walked away again. And that ladies and gentlemen was it!

Now I’m sorry, I’m not into chatting up guys, I’ve tried but my spirit doesn’t like it, I’m a traditionalist. What disappoints is that after all that to-ing and fro-ing and eye contact and body language, these guys just wouldn’t talk to us. I certainly got the impression they were interested enough to have a simple conversation no?!

And no, we didn’t intimidate the hell out of them by staring them down, being loud and lary or disorderly while drunk. We were demure, sober and very classy (if I say so myself!).

So what is the deal people? Men are emasculated in so many ways these days, do you guys really want us to take over the first contact too? And exactly how are people meeting people these days?

Answers on postcards and comments please!

P.S. Currently there is a guy, it’s still new partly because it’s still new but also because he and I both have work schedules from hell so the status on that I don’t quite know!

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. Danny BaGucci permalink
    May 4, 2009 11:18 am

    Ah… guess with time these things resolve themselves.. No big issues just yet….. Maybe dudes are becoming all round efeminate these days, lacking the will power to step up to a young lady and ask!!!

    Hmm.. maybe a classified ad might be the way to go… LOL

  2. Sting permalink
    May 5, 2009 1:00 am

    Hope it works out.

  3. The Bookaholic permalink
    May 5, 2009 4:59 pm

    Your blog is really nice and interesting!!!

  4. LoloBloggs permalink
    May 5, 2009 9:22 pm

    @DannyB Its guys becoming effeminate I’m scared of, I want manly men!!

    er…no comment on my match.com experience…lol!

    @Sting thank-you. đŸ˜‰

    @The Bookaholic thank you for coming by!

  5. Original Mgbeke permalink
    May 6, 2009 7:04 pm

    Girllllll! Let’s not even talk about that issue. Ok at least your friends are introducing you, LOL I don threatened my friends that they need to come correct and start intro-ing me to correct dudes. I think it’s hard to meet guys in social scenes, there’s always a ratio of 50 babes to 30 guys. And me kwa I’m a traditionalist, I will give you the right amount of green light but if you don’t take the bait, I’m not gonna chat you up.
    Oh well, I have quit sweating the dating scene and situation. Whatever happens, will happen.

  6. May 7, 2009 1:54 am

    Keep up with the writing. How’s chapter two coming along?

  7. wealthyandhealthy permalink
    June 2, 2009 12:18 am

    You know I went out over the bank holiday weekend and I didn't see one guy chat up one girl. It's all very odd.

    Saying that though last year I met 4 men on my road. I was limping and they all stopped to offer me a lift, which I politely declined, but they all ended up taking me out.My friends all said they were going to start limping too!

    Nothing came of the dates, but it was very nice to have male comapny.

  8. Indigenous Productions permalink
    June 12, 2009 9:50 pm

    @ wealthy and healthy, I'm about to start limping too. LOL. only kidding

  9. lufon2002 permalink
    July 10, 2009 10:58 am

    i dont really believe this. I read about all these girls not seeing any available guys but where do all of you live. I think the thing is most girls have their idea of what they want and if you dont classify then they dont see you. But what do I know

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